Phone Sex FAQ

From the Internet alt.sex newsgroup

Thanks to...

Welcome to the Phone sex FAQ. This document will hopefully answer a lot of questions you may have about the many ways to get your rocks off with a telephone call. Although erotic phone chat has been around for as long as people have communicated by telephone ("One ringy-dingy...two ringy-dingy...Gracious, hello! Mr. Vidal...what am I wearing now? I've got a short pink teddy, and my nipples are hard thinking about you. ") At some point a light bulb went on in some enterprising entrepreneur's mind and s/he decided there was a way to make money talking dirty. Before the days of the infotext (pay-per-call) industry phone sex operators would receive payment in advance of a call or have a credit card number on file for a regular caller.

976 numbers changed the face of the phone sex industry. With this special exchange the owner of the phone sex business could establish a per-minute rate and let the phone company handle the billing and collection. The industry earned a black eye early in the game when preadolescent boys racked up thousands of dollars in charges calling phone sex operators.

When abuses appear, regulation soon follows. Many phone companies, fearing adverse publicity, either discontinued 976 programs or simply refused to collect for those calls. "976" soon became synonymous with "phone smut," and those numbers all but died out.

A desire for a positive public image soon lost out to desire for the revenues possible from pay-per-call business. The 900 exchange was born. The owner of the phone information business (the "Information Provider," or "IP" for short) would lease a line or group of lines from AT&T or MCI. Enterprising IPs discovered that people would pay anywhere from $1.00 per minute up to $50.00 per minute if they could get the information they sought. Software companies whose tech support departments were swamped discovered that their users were more than willing to pay $3.00 per minute to get technical questions answered without long waits on hold. Late night callers could call their own personal psychics at the urging of various movie or recording stars. Baseball players were setting up their own 900 numbers to get calls from adoring fans.

Phone sex entrepreneurs jumped back into the fray as well. Soon there were full-color beaver shots showing up in Hustler and Penthouse urging the reader to "Call me--my pussy's hot for you now..." Callers were willing to pay in some cases hundreds of dollars for a call to one of these gorgeous, horny phone sex operators.

As more and more IPs jumped visibly into the telephone sex business, the telephone companies were faced with the same old image problem. They knew they would not be able to shut down those operations, but the would be able to make life a lot more difficult. They did this by leasing these lines with a number of conditions. The most important of these was that they would not bill or collect for 900 sex lines. The IPs were now forced to turn to alternative, third-party billing for these calls. From a practical standpoint this meant that an IP could not be sure of collecting for any call made, since the telephone company would not disconnect the caller's service for an unpaid 900 bill. The rate of chargebacks increased dramatically.

In the face of these difficulties there are a number of alternatives in phone sex. This document will explore some of them.

This may seem to be a stupid question (but, then a FAQ is about stupid questions, isn't it?). Let's define phone sex as a telephone conversation between two or more people whose object is to arouse, titillate and stimulate the caller or callers, hopefully to the point of orgasm. Some have described phone sex as guided masturbation fantasy. If that definition works for you, be my guest. A phone sex conversation may start out on a simple conversational level, but by mutual consent and expectation it will move into an erotic area. You might describe phone sex as an interactive erotic audio fantasy. The conversation is generally (but not always) explicit and hardcore. It is not generally a prelude to a face-to-face meeting.

While there are certainly dweebs, perverts and losers who are frequent callers, phone sex has provided a healthy (and safe) sexual outlet for many people. People who do not now have a regular sex partner may find the interaction with another person to be a welcome change from solitary masturbation. The presence of a person at the other end of the line provides another dimension to the fantasy which can significantly enhance the experience.

The cost of a call will generally be determined by the length of the call. That depends at least partly on the caller. Let's assume for the time being that you are a heterosexual male calling a female at a phone sex number. If she is doing her job properly she'll engage you in some sort of conversation so she knows at least something about you. If you don't give her a lot to go on, the call might take longer. The "average" call (if there is one) will last anywhere from 5 minutes to 14 minutes. The best way to avoid an unexpectedly huge bill is to set some sort of timer before you make the call. Time has a way of getting out of hand when you're not paying attention! If you're calling a service whose rate is $3.99 per minute, you can reasonably expect to spend between $30.00 and $40.00 for the call.

First, be clear about your expectations for the call. You generally need to make the first move as far as explicit talk is concerned; the girl will not normally take the initiative. Once you say, for example, "I'd like to lick your pussy," or "I'm sitting here with my hard dick in my hand," you've hopefully opened the door, so to speak. The girl on the other end of the line at that point should get quite graphic. If she doesn't, you're probably calling a number whose primary intent is to hold you on the line for as long as possible without delivering what you called for in the first place. You are a consumer, and you have every right to demand the service you're paying for.

Second, do NOT give your credit card number to a telephone sex operator. Sure, your credit card company will protect you, but do you really want to leave yourself open for those kinds of hassles?

Finally, be VERY aware of the time; the meter ticks, and the dollars can mount up quickly if you're not paying attention. Even though it may seem a bit tacky, set a timer before you make the call so you don't lose track. Once you've hit your budget figure, it's perfectly okay to just hang up. You don't have to stand on a lot of ceremony here. Personally, I like to say something nice to the lady on the other line--particularly if it was a really good call.

This is just like asking, "I know I can get laid if I pay a callgirl a couple of hundred bucks! How can I get laid for free?" The answer to the phone sex question is about the same. There are many people on the Internet and other on-line communities who have been able to develop very rewarding phone sex relationships with other users (your humble author is one such fortunate person). How to go about it? In just the same way you'd go about developing a relationship with another human being in 3D. Assuming you're willing and able to do that, then the calls you'd make with that other person would proceed pretty much the way a pay-per-call encounter would happen. It's a matter of having your expectations clear on both ends of the telephone line.

How to get it cheap? You have several choices here. First, do not make the mistake of assuming that just because the ad you see for the number is very explicit that you'll get great phone. Many of the numbers with very low rates are a come-on for more expensive lines. There are several different types of phone sex lines to choose from, and each has limitations and strong points.

809 numbers: These are phone numbers located in the Dominican Republic. They do not charge a per-minute fee, so you'll just pay the regular phone charges. The charge could be as low as about $0.33 per minute. These lines tend to be oriented toward dating databases and multi party chat lines. You could spend an hour on the line and not drop much more than $20 or $30, depending on your long distance carrier. Some callers have been able to connect with real people for later phone sex calls away from the party line. Many of these lines also have recorded fantasies and live one-on-one chat with women. Some of those women will talk explicitly with you; most won't. It doesn't cost too much to test the waters here, though.

900 numbers: These are the ones you see advertised in all the sex mags. Some of them are good, some of them not so good. You're pretty much taking a chance. Refer to section (5) above. 900 numbers today are relying on third-party billing or hoping to make a lot of money before they get shut down, or ripping off the caller. Just be careful and keep your wits about you.

011 numbers: These are the real offshore numbers. Some of the ads will tell you that you can talk to "Horny Swedish Bi Nympho Sluts," but in reality most of these numbers go to an island off the coast of Africa. The "Swedish" angle is to deal with the fact that many of these women have strong accents. (All you folks for whom English is not your native language: please don't take offense at the "accent" remark !) The point is that in some cases you may have to deal with a person on the other end who does not have a good command of the language; as a matter of fact, some of them are almost unintelligible! On the plus side, you're only paying long distance charges, but you should always be aware of the ticking of the clock, and also what the per minute long distance charges are.

800 Numbers: These will bill your credit card. Refer to section (5) above: how to avoid getting ripped off.

10XXX Numbers: These are a brand new entry onto the phone sex scene. the first six digits you dial will route your call through a central switch, while the rest will put you through to the service. You will be charged a per-minute fee of between $1.99 and $4.99 per minute, depending on what number you're calling. There is always some sort of recorded introduction (for any pay-per-call number) telling you to hang up if you're under 18, and disclosing what the cost per minute is. Pay attention to this!

The 10XXX numbers have gotten popular quickly for a couple of reasons; Most of the 10XXX numbers connect to locations in Canada, so you are not dealing with any sort of language problems as you might with some of the offshore numbers. Finally, the providers who have started the 10XXX programs are generally very experienced in providing phone sex services; these numbers tend to have a high percentage of repeat callers, just as a popular callgirl would have a "book" of regular customers.

One number that's representative of a 10XXX service is

10509-1-514-851-1599

You can generally count on the 10XXX numbers to deliver explicit (hardcore) phone sex.

First, it helps if you're in the right state of mind. If you're in a foul mood because you've just had a fight with your Significant Other (or whomever) you probably would be better off not making the call until you're in a better frame of mind. It does help if you're in a quiet place where you can relax (putting on music helps) and where you know you won't be disturbed while you're on the phone.

Just as with regular 3D sex, it helps to be prepared and relaxed beforehand. A glass or two of wine (or whatever) might help you to lower your inhibitions and get into the fantasy more readily. And (though it may seem a bit tacky for me to mention it) it's a good idea to have a box of tissues close at hand.

Be prepared to take an active part in the conversation. That doesn't mean you have to create the whole scenario, but you'll find it works a lot better when you're giving the girl some input from your end. I know a few phone sex girls in 3D (and many of them are in fact pretty!) and they will often get off themselves if their caller is really turned on.

When you are about to have an orgasm, let her know somehow. Your "signal" could be heavy breathing from you, or just tell her what's happening with you. She'll take it from there.

If you just want to test the waters without spending a lot of money, try the 809 number, but don't expect a weak-kneed, dripping orgasm type of call (unless you really get lucky!) You'll just pay regular long distance rates.

If you're looking for the "real thing," your best bet is a 10XXX number. You can safely assume you'll have a hot, explicit call with no holds barred.

For this you might try 10509-1-514-851-1599

This number carries a charge of $3.99 per minute, and you can realistically expect to be on the phone for anywhere between 6 and 12 minutes. It's up to you to determine whether it's worth it *for you.* If I were going to justify it for myself, I'd have to say that paying 40 bucks for a nice orgasm that is totally safe is not a bad deal, particularly if there's a nice, sympathetic person on the other end. I am not you, though, so you might see it a different way.

For another look at phone sex, read my article "Phone sex--The Straight Scoop!" on several Usenet newsgroups (and Compuserve) near you. This article contains a word-for-word description of a "typical" phone sex call.

If you buy into the notion that we all have something to learn about interacting with people at any level, the answer could be a resounding "Maybe." If you are lucky enough to connect with another person on an intimate level through the Net or any online service, you might find that having some familiarity with telephone sex could enhance the experience forboth of you.

If you read "Phonesex--The Straight Scoop," you'll see how a "typical" call happens. Making love with another person on the telephone,when it is done "right," is much more than sexual talk.

Joe Parsons is a writer living in the San Francisco Bay area. As of this writing, he is producing erotic audio dramas for release near the end of the year (1994). Since as a writer he is just one step away from being unemployed, he spends a lot of time sailing "Good Faith" out of Berkeley, California.

Even though this might not be the Great American FAQ, it did require a fair amount of work and lots of, um...research. The author is indebted to:

Elley for the fan mail
Marticha for the same nice words
My dear pal Marsha--she knows why.
Everyone who reads this stuff and gets something out of it.
Finally, thanks to all the sweet-voiced ladies of phone sex

Phone Sex FAQ

Introduction to phone sex

What is phone sex?

Isn't phone sex for dweebs, perverts and losers?

How much is phone sex going to cost me--really?

How can I avoid getting ripped off using phone sex?

How can I get phone sex for cheap--or free?

What are the different kinds of phone sex service numbers?

How can I get the most out of a phone sex call?

What are some good phone sex numbers to call?

Is it worth calling a phonesex number to learn how to "do it" right?

Who is Joe Parsons, anyway??